UGH.  

This was one ugly WOD.  SD all the way.  Halfway through the first reed lap I thought "I'm going to quit. There is no way in hell I can do this."  Then 20 minutes later, somehow I was done. 

Goal--unbroken run.  Mission accomplished.

Time:  20:25

Sucked, big-time.

I really, really need to face Punchbowl.  I put it up on the Goals whiteboard, and need to check it off SOON.  I fear it.  I loathe it.  It's going to suck.  But I have to do it.  Stay tuned....

Shoot Me Down, But I'll Get Up

Today's WOD shot me down like a mo-fo.  

This was one--just one--of the events that the Masters athletes competed in today, and they had an 8-minute cap.  Ha.  This shit just never gets any easier.  The run totally killed me--and they were 1/2 laps.  I'm so frustrated though, because during the first 3 rounds my run was more like a jog--a slow jog, too.  It hurt, I hurt, I wanted to cry, and I wanted to quit.  But on Round 4, during the last 1/2 lap, I dug it in and freakin SPRINTED.  And I could DO it.  WHY can't I do that during the other rounds???  Obviously it's possible.  Andy maintains that it's a preservation tactic, subconscious or otherwise.  I can dig in deep because I know the end is in sight--during the early rounds though, this is me "pacing" myself since I know there's a lot more work coming my way.  Is it possible to change that?  I want to be faster, and I want it to hurt less.  Mission impossible?  

Scale:  

4x rope ascent from flat on floor (knees bent) to touching pull-up bar

40# front squat

14:34

The front squat felt light, but I was able to do them unbroken, which I guess is a good thing.  Maybe I should've tried for 45# at least.  We did kind of a killer warm-up with 12# med ball, in groups of 3, where we cleaned the balls in a 1-6 ladder up and back down.  We had to remain in the squat position while our group mates did their reps, coming back down the ladder.  IT HURT.  My quads are toast, and it wasn't even time for the WOD yet.  

So I guess overall, I'm happy with my performance.  I did everything unbroken.  

BEFORE WOD:  Did some work, did NOT want to go.  Forced myself.  No explosive ass.  No food before WOD either, which made me nervous.

EN ROUTE:  Quiet.  Listened to my dubstep to focus.  Not in a very good mood.

DURING WOD:  Can I make it through all 4 rounds?  I'm just starting the last round and most people are finished.  Shit.  I hate running, and suck at it.  Running demon, telling me to stop and walk (but I didn't!).  Self-doubt demon telling me to stop at 3 rounds (but I didn't!).    

AFTER WOD:  t-i-r-e-d.  No post-wod high.  Actually thought to myself during one of the 1/2 laps, "I'm quitting CrossFit.  This isn't for me."  But I ain't quittin' yet.  

You know what--I am titanium.  

How Low Can You Go?

Drop it, hit it, jump it, split it

DON'T STOP GET IT IT

Holy god I wanted to stop today.  So badly.  So so badly.  That bastard master demon Self-Doubt and his tag-team partner HissyFit were out in FULL EFFECT.  I was so low during the WOD, and not in the good way.  Twice, I think, I stopped for a breather and had to fight back a full-on wailing session.  With tears and all.  Because I wanted to stop.

But guess what--I didn't.  

And now, well, I'm not low, I'm not high, but I'm definitely better than I was before we left for the gym.  

Today's WOD is straight from CrossFit games--it's one of the Masters individual days.  Which means that men and women 55+ are going to smoke my time and effort and get real real low (in the good way) and get it get it.  As a gerontologist, I fully approve.  They call this a "chipper", because you have to go dissertation-style on it and chip away.  One effing exercise at a time.  Bird by bird.  Demon by demon.  

90# DL

Jumping pull-ups

12" box jump

12kg kb (AV weight!)

100 single jumprope

Time:  17:10

BEFORE GYM:  Wasn't planning to go.  Skipped the 9am, and was working on work-stuff.  Andy woke up and I thought DAMMIT, now I have to go.  So I did.  Didn't want to.  No explosive ass (!).  Kind of tired.  

EN ROUTE:  In denial.  Pretended I was still sitting in front of my computer doing brain-work.

AT GYM:  Shit.  My goal was to be under 20 mins. 

DURING WOD:  I WANT TO QUIT.  I'm not going to make it. I could switch to a lighter kettle bell.  Only 15 more box jumps--I'm not going to let these bastards get the best of me.  I can do it.  NO I WANT TO QUIT.  Shit, I lost count.  SHIT I JUST PEED A LITTLE BIT on the box jump!!  Keep going. 12 more pull-ups.  6 more pull-ups.  8 more DLs, 5 more DLs--holy shit I did the last 5 unbroken.  CHAMPION!

AFTER WOD:  Dead.  Face as bright red as I've ever seen it.  Peed like a race horse.  Clean-up sucked. Slight headache on drive home. Did I mention dead?  Glad I went, glad I don't have to go tomorrow.  No post-WOD high.  

Shake 'Em On Down 

I did a lot of shakin' down and out today.  Push-ups.  Damn push-ups.  M-F'ing push-ups.  My arch-nemesis.   Coach Maria was pretty amazing though--she stacked some 45# weights right on top of a 20" box, and had me really pushing to get a hollow-body full-on push-up right down onto those bitches.  It was....not easy.  I definitely teared up a few times, feeling a little bit pissed off at how hard they were, how un-strong I feel, and how tired I was.  Effing push-ups.

I decided I was going to do 10 reps and just keep going for the full 20 minutes.  Result:  4 rounds, 10 push-ups, 10 K2Hips, and 1 front squat. Used 35# for those.  At one point I fell forward and dropped the weight, and now my right pinky finger is numb.  Shit.  

BEFORE GYM:  Semi-explosive ass.  Not that nervous at all.  A little bit excited, even.  Kind of hyper, really.  

EN ROUTE:  Bullets--shoot me down, but I get up.  Today, those bullets were those damn push-ups.  A little queasy, but felt fairly ok.

DURING WOD:  1st round went pretty well.  By the 3rd, I was nearly in tears a few times.  Maria was great at helping me figure out the M-F'ing push-ups though.  Shook 'em (my arms) on down (out) a few times, and that helped as I was getting through the sets.

AFTER WOD:  Not as high as last week, but still pretty good.  Overall, proud of myself for going one more time.

On my way to the art museum with Jen....

CrossFit is as much--if not more--about fighting my own demons as it is working out.  Is it the same for most people?  This is the song I listen to almost every time on my way to the gym.

Shoot me down, but I won't fall, I am titanium.  

I suppose sometimes our demons can be our friends--today that was the case for me.  There was an option to do 3 rounds instead of 4, and I was damn tired at the end of round 3.  Not to mention way behind everyone else in the class.  But rather than stop and look/feel like a total lameass (one of my demons), I reduced my weights a little bit and worked hard for that last 4th round.      

TIME:  20:38

12" box

15# DB (rounds 1-3)  10#DB (round 4)

single unders

BEFORE CLASS:

Self-doubt.  Explosive ass.  Scared.  Nervous.  A few moments of "who gives a shit if I have to run slow and use bands, it will be ok."  Wanting to procrastinate.  Wanting to get it done for the day.  "You never have to go back if you just go today" (yeah right).  

DURING CLASS:  

My new friend Monica was there, and we had a nice time chatting before class started.  Tired after warm-up stretches and 1 Reed lap.  Pretty consistent rounds, only a few rest times.  

AFTER CLASS:  

I AM SO HAPPY I DID 4 ROUNDS!  Very, very thirsty.  Very tired.  On top of the world!!!!  So proud of myself, and feeling excited to come back.  Chatted with my nurse-friend.  Really, really enjoy the 9am Friday classes.