Shoot Me Down, But I'll Get Up

Today's WOD shot me down like a mo-fo.  

This was one--just one--of the events that the Masters athletes competed in today, and they had an 8-minute cap.  Ha.  This shit just never gets any easier.  The run totally killed me--and they were 1/2 laps.  I'm so frustrated though, because during the first 3 rounds my run was more like a jog--a slow jog, too.  It hurt, I hurt, I wanted to cry, and I wanted to quit.  But on Round 4, during the last 1/2 lap, I dug it in and freakin SPRINTED.  And I could DO it.  WHY can't I do that during the other rounds???  Obviously it's possible.  Andy maintains that it's a preservation tactic, subconscious or otherwise.  I can dig in deep because I know the end is in sight--during the early rounds though, this is me "pacing" myself since I know there's a lot more work coming my way.  Is it possible to change that?  I want to be faster, and I want it to hurt less.  Mission impossible?  

Scale:  

4x rope ascent from flat on floor (knees bent) to touching pull-up bar

40# front squat

14:34

The front squat felt light, but I was able to do them unbroken, which I guess is a good thing.  Maybe I should've tried for 45# at least.  We did kind of a killer warm-up with 12# med ball, in groups of 3, where we cleaned the balls in a 1-6 ladder up and back down.  We had to remain in the squat position while our group mates did their reps, coming back down the ladder.  IT HURT.  My quads are toast, and it wasn't even time for the WOD yet.  

So I guess overall, I'm happy with my performance.  I did everything unbroken.  

BEFORE WOD:  Did some work, did NOT want to go.  Forced myself.  No explosive ass.  No food before WOD either, which made me nervous.

EN ROUTE:  Quiet.  Listened to my dubstep to focus.  Not in a very good mood.

DURING WOD:  Can I make it through all 4 rounds?  I'm just starting the last round and most people are finished.  Shit.  I hate running, and suck at it.  Running demon, telling me to stop and walk (but I didn't!).  Self-doubt demon telling me to stop at 3 rounds (but I didn't!).    

AFTER WOD:  t-i-r-e-d.  No post-wod high.  Actually thought to myself during one of the 1/2 laps, "I'm quitting CrossFit.  This isn't for me."  But I ain't quittin' yet.  

You know what--I am titanium.